Apr 8, 2004
Deliverance, deliverance, deliverance, laughing at me...

It's too much work to update this thing all the time.  I'll update sparsely.

Tonight, NA meeting

Posted at 05:51 pm by Loverman
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Mar 21, 2004
Let's go to the seaside Blode

Friday I saw the Secret Window with Nicole.  It was an awesome movie.  It had a crazy ending.  I didn't know until the movie started that it was based on a Stephen King story called The Secret Window.  After the movie we went to Applebees.  There was some weird guy staring at me when Nicole got up to go to the bathroom.  He looked like he was pissed; he also looked like he should be wearing an eye patch.

Saturday I basically hung out at home until the night.  At night Alison, Nicole, and I went to Borders and looked at weird books like Gay Witchcraft book and the Erotica section.  We then showed up at Michelle's house after and started tapping on her window.  It scared the crap out of her sisters.  Michelle kept telling them its a wild animal.  So I guess I'm wild.

Sunday I basically did nothing.  Nick and I bought a pizza and played Time Splitters 2.  Later that night, Nicole and I went to Starbucks.

Monday was Italian class.  I got a 97 on my Italian test.

Tuesday was Art Class.  It was snowing so bad I skipped it, because my windshield wipers were broken.

Wedensday was English class.  My last essay was photocopied and handed out to the class to read.  The professor said, "The opening is dull, but the ending is surprisingly good compared to the opening."  I got a B, he wrote on it "Interesting Choice."

Thursday I went to another NA meeting with Karen and Nicole.  This time we also took this guy named IAN.  It was a good meeting.  Karen tried to pick me up but couldn't.  I don't remember what else happened.  This one guy said he was wearing the same clothes for the last week because he was busted, put in jail, then went to detox, then came right to the meeting.

Friday Nicole, Tannya, and I went to the movies to see Taking Lives.  We were going to see Dawn of the Dead, but plans changed.  It was a weird movie.  I leaned over and whispered to Nicole, "He's the killer," within the first 10 minutes of the movie.  Sure enough, at the end of the movie, when they revealed the killer it was the guy I predicted.  After the movies we all went to Starbucks.  When I got home my mom was like, "The heat is broken."  It was one cold cold night.

Saturday I moped around.  Then around 6:30, I went and picked up Nick, then Nicole, and then Karen.  Karen was in trouble though and couldn't hang out.  So N.D., Nicole, and I went to Starbucks and hung out, then Cold Stone, and then CVS.  After CVS we took N.D. home and went to the bookstore.

Today is Sunday.  I've done nothing so far, except type this entry.  I want to go see Dawn of the Dead today.  Maybe I'll give Nick a call.  It's all up in the air right now.

Posted at 01:24 pm by Loverman
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Mar 11, 2004
Wow, it's been over week since I last updated

I pick up Nicole from school everyday now, pretty much.

Thursday, Nicole and I went to this art display at Suffolk.  It was small, only like 7 paintings, but they were real good.  After Starbucks, we picked up Michelle and Alison and went to the mall.  I wanted to buy a cd but I stopped myself.  I ended up buying Max a birthday present.  It was this red surfer necklace thing.  I guess he liked it.

Friday, Nicole and I rented Donnie Darko and American Psycho.  We ordered Chinese food.  It was an awesome night.  The movies were awesome.  I've come to the conclusion that Patrick Bateman killed no one and the only thing stopping Donnie from dying was getting a little action.

Saturday I hung out with Nick, Rich, Rob, and John in the afternoon.  We played classic Nintendo.  It was crazy.  I got bored though.  Rich's house gets so boring.  I returned the shirts Max bought me for my birthday and bought Comalies by Lacuna Coil and the new Poison the Well cd.  That's right, I bought and EMO cd, but who's to say Staind isn't EMO.  Aaron Lewis goes on and on about his ex-girlfriend in every song.  This doesn't mean I've stopped my fight against EMO.  At night Nicole, Alison, and I went to go see Club Dread.  "What?  It's not like I asked you to lick my crack.."  It was a pretty good movie.  We went to Friendly's after.

Sunday was a homework day.  I drew my still life.  It turned out crappy.  At night Nicole and I went to Starbucks, but Nicole was not feeling so well.  So we drove into oblivion while listening to Lacuna Coil and Cold.  I think it made her feel better.

Monday was my Italian test.  I passed that test easily.  Nicole and I also went driving.

Tuesday I picked Nicole up after art club.  Then we went driving.  Art class was cool.  I drew a crappy still life with charcoal but apparently the teacher loved it and wanted to hang it in the hall.  Too bad I accidently ripped it.  I wrote my essay on the lady that beat her kids in the mall after class.

Wedensday Nicole and I went driving.  Then I went to English class.  Only 9 people showed up.  The Professor was saying how he wanted people to come to class drunk or that he should bring in a keg to class.  He said it would make the class more interesting.  He's crazy.  He also hates little kids and little kids birthday parties.  He's going to go far.  My prediction, he dies unmarried.  What girl doesn't want to have kids?  Ok, there are some, but not many.  My Professor is also very crude.  I don't think he would want to get married.

Thursday is today.  It was nice out today.  Nicole did some driving, we walked Shadow, and we played the EMOgame.  We went with Karen to an NA meeting (Narcotics Anonymous).  She seems like a nice person and she told this story during the meeting that made me all teary eyed.  I feel bad for her.  I bought her cigarettes after the meeting because she didn't have any I.D. on her.  Nicole and I should hang out with her sometime, as long as I don't die from the cigarette smoke.  The meeting made me realize how good I have it in life.  There are a lot of people with sad sad stories.  It opened my eyes to the things I should be thankful for.  Wow this sounds like a lot of B.S. but that's how I felt.  I may go to another meeting on Saturday.

Tomorrow I'm going to see Secret Window.  This weekend I'm going to play handball if it's nice out (I'm in the mood to kick some ass).  Next weekend, I'm going to see Dawn of the Dead!  When there's no more room in Hell, then the dead will walk the earth...

SpringBreak 3 weeks away!

Posted at 11:33 pm by Loverman
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Mar 3, 2004
SocietysModel: give me a title for my new blog entry Basketcase9586: hoot-n-a-hollER

Monday was cool.  I picked up Nicole from school.  We went to Micheals to find me some charcoal pencils.  After Micheals, we went to Borders and looked around, then we went to the Borders cafe and ate Jelly Beans and crappy hot chocolate.  After that we hung out for a little while, then I went to class.  I told my Italian Professor about Little Italy.  He kept asking me questions about the food and Nicole.  He said and I quote, "Awww Signore Waiksnis, romantic..." in a wierd voice.  Next week I have a test in Italian.

Tuesday was awesome.  I picked Nicole up from school again.  Then she went driving for awhile.  After that, we went and walked shadow down the block.  It was cool.  Shadow isn't as much of a sniffer as Snoopy.  After that we hung out for a little while, then I went to class.  In Drawing class we used charcoal for the first time to draw a still life.  My still life looks awesome.  Not as good as it could look, but better then I could have imagined.  Nicole liked it when I showed her.

Today I picked up Nicole again and I'll pick her up tomorrow also.  We went to starbucks and hung out.  Alison was there.  It was nice.  I think my allergies are starting to bother me.  I was feeling all weird and congested, but it went away.  Later on I went to dinner with my Step-Dad and that's about it.

I'm going to start writing different kinds of entries.  More like rants.  I'll still include the stuff I did, but I'll add some rants about the things I do and hear.

Posted at 10:42 pm by Loverman
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Feb 29, 2004
How did you get inside me?

So much has happened the past week.  I got a 73 on my History test that I took Saturday.  Saturday night I went to Nicole's house late, 10ish, and we watched a little bit of American Beauty.  Then we watched Mad TV and some other random TV shows.

Sunday Nicole came over for dinner, Fondu.  She had never had it, but luckily, she liked it.  She brought my mom a cool plant.  It has small red flowers.  We watched the second half of S&M and then went to Starbucks.  We drove to Ocean Parkway and found out what's at the end of the 17 mile strip of highway.  The answer is, nothing.

On Monday, it was the same as every Monday.  Work, then Italian class.  I got a 99 on my test last week or two weeks ago.  I don't remember when I took it.

On Tuesday, Nicole and I went to the docks after she got out of school.  It was nice, but very windy.  She drew a picture of Buddy the Dog.  A lot of people go to the docks during the day.  We also played on the toys for a little while, but it was cold and windy.  I went to Art class after.  I have to draw a still life with 5 things for homework.

On Wedensday, Nicole and I went driving.  She did really well.  After driving we watched some TV before I went to English class.  I wrote an essay about Valentine's day for English.  I wonder if he liked it.

Thursday, went driving with Nicole again.  She is getting comfortable behind the wheel.  We watched some of Clockwork Orange after.  It is one crazy movie.  Very weird.  Later that night, we went to classy coffee.  Best hot chocolate in town.  Watch out for the cookie monster.

Friday night was the Opeth concert.  Nick, John, and I went to chinatown before hand and ate at Shanghai Joe's.  Awesome chinese food.  We came to the conclusion that neither of us understood them.  I dared Nick to eat a pepper out of my Kung Po Chicken.  I offered him a buck.  He was talking to the pepper before he ate it.  "What am I doing?  C'mon Duff, it's a buck?  That means more poki."  He then ate it and the fun began.  He looked like he was going to jump up and scream.  He refused to drink the Monster Energy drink because he said it would make it worse and the only other thing in the place was mint tea.  It was hilarious.  A classic Duff moment.  For some reason John wanted the leftovers wrapped and carried them all over the city.  After that, we found some chinese candy that Nick wanted to buy.  We finally got to the concert.  It was amazing.  John was thrown in the moshpit by Mistress Julia during Devil Driver's set.  Devil Driver was awesome live.  Dez's voice is more amazing live then it is on the cd.  A pit formed right next to me during the first 3 chords of Nothing To Lose.  They played Nothing To Lose, I Could Care Less, Cry For Me Sky, Die (And Die Again), What's It Like (To Be A Man), and The Mountain.  An awesome set.  Then Moonspell came on.  Holy Shit!  Where have they been hiding.  An awesome band.  The lead singer sounds like a vampire and looks like McCloud from Highlander.  The set was amazing.  I don't know most of the songs, but I downloaded a lot of them.  Lots of breaks in the songs and a Voodoo like staff.  It was 6 feet tall with a skull at the top.  Everyone go listen to Moonspell.  Oh and there was this one guy that walked past me hunched over during the set.  He was screaming, "Get me a nurse."  Sucks for him.  Then finally, Opeth took the stage.  Everyone went insane.  I was thrown in the pit and fought my way out.  Then I was thrown in again later on during The Moor.  I was hit in the groin and it stung for several minutes.  I also knocked over this 7 foot tall huge girl when I was thrown in.  I had no control of where I was going.  Opeth's set had all my favorites.  They played Master's Apprentice, The Drapery Falls, The Moor, Deliverance, In My Time Of Need, The Amen Corner, Blackwater Park, and Demon Of The Fall.  During Demon Of The Fall, the pit tripled in size.  It was huge.  A marvelous feat.  Everyone go see Opeth live before you die.  Mikael told the crowd that Philly called New Yorkers, "A bunch of fucking cunts."  He then said we couldn't sing better then them.  The whole crowd then sung My Time In Need perfectly.  It was the most emotional part of the night.  The most complete line up I have ever witnessed with my own eyes.

Saturday, I woke up early and picked up Nicole.  We hopped on the train and went into New York City.  The 7 (shuttle bus) was broken and down for the weekend due to construction.  So we had to walk 40 blocks to the Metropolitian museum of Art.  We gave up after 15 blocks and hailed a taxi.  We got the only white taxi cab driver in the city.  The museum was awesome.  I saw a lot of paintings I never saw before.  The blind man that Picasso drew was awesome.  It reminded me of the monk from the book I'm reading, The Monk by Matthew Lewis.  After the museum, we saw a man in a clown costume, giving himself head.  He wore the costume upside down so that the clown head was in his crotch.  Interesting.  I then got us lost.  It was bound to happen.  Nicole and I then jumped on the 6 and got off at Canal St, Chinatown.  We walked through Chinatown until we got to Little Italy.  We were looking for a place to eat dinner and this guy jumps out, shoves the menu in my face (not literally), and says something like, "Fresh, homemade Pasta."  It seemed good, so we went inside.  It was an awesome restaurant entitled, Fratelli.  We had a candelight dinner.  It was a romantic place.  A random lady walked inside with flowers.  I bought Nicole some roses from the random lady.  The restaurant was awesome, but I was sitting next to this shelf, with all wine on it.  The waiters kept walking past and leaning over me to grab bottles.  It got kind of annoying, but it was tolerable, everything else was perfect.  On the way out I told the guy who pulled us in that the food was good.  Then he saw Nicole's roses and said something like, "What a romantic."  We then went back on the train and went home.  An awesome day.

Sunday, I woke up late.  Played some basketball with the guys.  We played 5 random little kids that were there.  They sucked.  After basketball I took a shower and worked on my still life drawing.  Then I went to Starbucks with Nicole.  Nicole is Awesome!  Don't let her tell you otherwise.

Right now, I'm going to go write or work on my still life, something artistic.

Posted at 11:27 pm by Loverman
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Feb 21, 2004
What kind of evil is held within the walls of Disney Land?

Work is always the same.  So I'm going to stop talking about it.  For those of you who do not know, I work 9:30 - 1:30, Monday to Friday at the Deer Park Public Library.  I won't be mentioning work again unless something crazy happens.  Like if Al goes crazy and wakls around with no pants on.  That kind fo crazy.

Ok, Thursday, I went to Starbucks with Nicole.  Then we drove down the road to oblivion while listening to Master of Puppets.  It was nice and peaceful.  I should write a song or poem about it.  We finally made it to the end of the road.  Nothing spectacular, I wish it would have just kept going.

Friday I took Nicole out driving.  She did good except for one mishap.  Later that night, we went to the movies to see Eurotrip.  Hilarious movie.  "Mi Scusi, mi scusi"  After that, Nicole and I went to Friday's and then King Kullen.  It was an awesome night.

This morning, I had a test in Modern European History.  I think I did pretty well.  I looked like shit though.  I had the morning vibe going on.  While I was walking from my car to the building some guy looked at me and said, "You don't look like a morning person."  I don't think I am.  After the test, I went and played Basketball with the guys.  I can't remember the last time I was in so much pain.  My thumb has a black and blue under the nail, one of my middle fingers is jammed, I can barely bend it, and Fat Rob stepped on my foot.  I think the nail is missing on one of my toes, but I haven't looked yet.  It's four o'clock right now, I don't know what I'm doing tonight, but I know what I'm not doing, playing a joke on Nick.  That's because I already have.  I had Fat Rob call him and tell him that we were all going to a strip club.  Then Nick says, I can't get in, I don't have I.D.  Then  Rob told him it was teen night and that he was going to play pool and eat.  We told Nick that there was free food.  I think he got excited when he heard that.  We told him we'd call him back.  He was about to ditch Nina so he could come to the imaginary teen night at some strip club.  When we called him back we told him that you had to wear all white to get in for free.  Rob told him to use white out on his skin.  I was dying laughing.  When Rob finally told him that we were fucking with him, he just hung up on us.

And now, for some craziness.  I started a rally against emo music.  I wrote an emo song that will end all emo songs and put an end to the emo revolution.  I'm pretty proud of this song.  I named it, "The Last Great Emo Song!"  That's right, there is an exclamation point.  If you haven't read it yet and would like to, just ask.

Wizard Out

Posted at 04:09 pm by Loverman
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Feb 18, 2004
And you tell me how to think, And you tell me how to feel, 'Cause I want to know what is real

On Sunday I hung out with Nick and Nina in the afternoon.  We went to McDonald's and sat in the car eating chicken nuggets and fries.  We made our way back to Nina's house and watched You've Got Mail.  Not my idea of a good movie, but it wasn't bad either.  I ended up going to cold stone with Michelle after that and filling up the rest of my free ice cream card.  So now, one day, I can go get a free ice cream.  After that, Michelle and I met up with Nicole and Alison at the diner.  Michelle and Alison were playing around with a fart machine the whole time.  It was hilarious.  I think the waitress was getting annoyed.  I don't know what the heck the people were thinking that were sitting behind Michelle.  There was also this old lady who looked like a hooker.  She had on a lot of make-up and a huge Playboy Bunny thing on her necklace.  Looked like something you'd find on the corner in the city.  After that, we just hung out at Michelle's for the rest of the night.

Monday was awesome.  No work and No school.  Nicole and I went to the mall.  We messed around at the mall for like five hours.  I don't remember much about the mall, except that we waited five minutes to get a giant blue raspberry icy.  After the mall we ended up back at my house.  We watched Hellraiser:  Bloodline and Nightmare on Elm Street.  Hellraiser was confusing.

Tuesday, I had no school again, but I had work in the morning.  Al smelled like crap.  I think he couldn't hold it in because someone made a mess in the bathroom and everyone thought it was Sal, the homeless guy.  But not I!  Everytime Al came near me, so did the smell.  So I think he crapped himself.  After work, Nicole and I went to Huntington Village and walked around.  We saw midget skaters, visited the Book Revue, and drunk hot chocolate at Starbucks.  After that, we went to Applebees and tried the mystery pizza sticks, then off to see Monster.  Monster was a crazy movie.  A hooker was going to commit suicide, but then she met this girl and thought it was a sign from God.  She fell in love with her and was trying to raise money by hooking.  Some Serial Killer 'John' trype guy attacked, raped, and almost killed her.  She shot him 6 times and saved herself.  The Hooker and her girlfriend run away and the hooker kills more people in a fit of rage against 'John's' and took there money.  It was pretty crazy.

Today was work as usual.  Then I came home and tried to read my book for class, but that didn't work.  I went to English class and found out that my essay entitled 'Wendy's Adventure' was photocopied and given to everyone in the class to analyze.  I was kind of embarrassed, but amused at the same time.  I got a B+.  The Professor made a comment about my 74' Duster (which I mentioned) was like something out of the Flintstones, foot power.  When I arrived home, I found a package from Amazon.com.  The Videodrone CD I used to have, but re-ordered because it was stolen by someone who will remain nameless finally came in the mail.  Awesome industrial metal.  Well that is all for now.

P.S.  Nicole is the best, don't let her tell you otherwise.

Posted at 09:09 pm by Loverman
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Feb 15, 2004
Happy Valentine's Day People

Thursday after work I had this plan to leave a rose with a note on her doorstep so that she would find it when she got home from school.  Then, things didn't go as planned and she asked me to pick her up from school because she missed the bus.  So, I had to speed away when I dropped her off at her house so she didn't think it was me and I was watching her reaction.  Later, I found out she thought it was from a secret admirer.  Nicole and I went to Starbucks at night.  Where I was harassed by Jeff, Nick, and Neil.  Jeff tried to rape me.  Then I went looking for Nicole, because she disappeared and they stole my jacket and left a ransom note, which I never saw.  While I was trying to get my jacket back, I was driven around while on the hood of Jeff's car.  I finally got my jacket back though.  Then in Cold Stone, Nick mooned us again.  Nicole wasn't feeling so well so we went on a drive down a sparsely populated rode that went off into the distance, Ocean Parkway.  It was cool how it seemed we were driving off into oblivion.

Friday was awesome.  Nick showed me the video he made of harassing me.  I want a copy.  I went and bought a last minute Valentine's Day present with Nick and John.  While I looked around, they played with a talking George W. Bush doll.  Later that night, I went to see 50 First Dates with Nicole.  It was hilarious.  Ulu is the man.  After the movie we went to Bennigans, then we went to the docks to hang out and the cops came.  They searched my car and asked me questions like, "Have you been drinking?" and "Have you been smoking?"  Both answers were 'no' of course.  That pretty much ended the night.

The Librarian just said, "Ohhh Yea."  Randomness...

Saturday was Valentine's Day.  I went to the mall with John to buy shoe laces and a spiked bracelet.  After the mall I stopped at Nina's and gave her a Valentine's Day card, I did the same with Marisa, but she wasn't home, so it went in the mailbox.  After that, I went home and got dressed.  I picked up Nicole, her mom took pictures of us, very unexpected.  We went to Bertucci's for dinner.  Before we went inside we opened each other's cards.  I gave Nicole a Teddy Bear, she named it James Hetfield.  I also gave her a card with a corny poem I wrote.  She gave me a little doggy named Buddy and a card with a ticket to see METALLICA in April inside.  Pure awesomeness.  We finally made our way inside, they messed up and didn't put my name down when I called ahead, but the one guy was nice and moved us to the top of the list.  After that we went back to my house and watched Halloween.  It was one awesome Valentine's Day.

Ok, now today, something freaky happened, Amanda Salerno instant messages me out of no where.  I haven't talked to her since my car broke down in November.  She was saying some weird things, I took out all the parts about her boyfriend and school...

(this is the first thing she said to me)

Amanda: are you going out w/someone?
Joe: yea, why
Amanda: i dunno how i knew but i did
Amanda: i just wanted to make sure
Amanda: it was like a vision its weird i duno
Joe: lol
.
.
.
.
Amanda: lemme guess 2mths for u
Amanda: or 2 weeks
Joe: a month and two weeks
Amanda: wow
Amanda: it was weird i just got a pic i my head w/u and her like driving in ur car
Amanda: i dunno why
Joe: what does she look like
Amanda: maybe i saw u w/her i dunno
Amanda: brown hair
Amanda: good looking
Amanda: thats all i can decifer
Joe: well she has brown hair and shes good looking
Amanda: thin
Amanda: young
Amanda: i dunno im a weirdo....feel stupid saying that lol
Joe: lol
Amanda: but am i right at all
Joe: yes, she has brown hair, she is thin, and a senior in high school
Amanda: oh ok
Amanda: good luck to ya 2
Amanda: seems like it might last a while
Joe: thanks
Amanda: ur welcome
.
.
.
.
Amanda: so u really like her eh
Amanda: yeaa lol
Joe: yea, shes awesome
Amanda: yeaa thats cool
Amanda: i dunno i feel like such a weirdo for saying this but when i saw u guys together ( still dont know if it was a vision or cloudy memory) it seemed like you guys were really in love w/eachother or will be... I sensed a strong bond
Joe: really
Amanda: yea


She seems like a psychic, idk

Posted at 02:02 pm by Loverman
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Feb 11, 2004
Nothing but Sweat in My Hands

I had my Italian test Monday night, I finished in five minutes and left.  It was extremely easy.  Then Tuesday I went to work, same boring crap.  I took a break with the Librarian, a.k.a. Rob.  He showed me all the cool things in the breakroom.  Then I went and hung out with Nicole.  We chatted, played with Shadow, and listened to the metal channel on IO.  After that I went to Drawing class.  We did cross contour drawings.  I made an awesome cross contour drawing of an acorn squash.

Then today, I went to work, then I was at home and Nicole was bored and I was bored.  So, I went and hung out, we watched Just Married.  After, while at my Writing class, I was reminded of Nicole and Fluffy when I realized I was hairy.  I was full of cat hair.  It's all good though, I was wearing my hairy shirt.  Now I'm home and I have work and a list of things to do. 

Posted at 09:27 pm by Loverman
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Feb 9, 2004
The world is dying, we don't care, we just want to Feel Good

Friday was an awesome day.  I started my new job at the library.  There are a couple people I know who work there, but I won't see them because I'll be working mornings.  Which means, I'm the only young guy when I work.  Basically at work, I'm going to be putting away returned books and keeping the books looking neat.  Sounds exciting, right?  After work I hung out with Nicole.  We doodled in her sketch book for a little while.  Then we went and watched Mothman Prophesy and S&M.  We have to finish watching both of them one day.  Max burst into my room and played the role of annoying brother.  That was pretty much the whole night.

On Saturday, I went to the mall with Nicole, Michelle, and Alison.  We went to Smithhaven.  It was fun.  Nicole bought an awesome Master of Puppets shirt and the Master of Puppets cd.  Alison bought pants.  Michelle and I bought nothing.  At the end, we all bought candy and ate it while watching some sheriffs throw kids out.  I think something funny happened but I can't remember.  Oh wait.  There was this green heart that said, "Please, Don't Touch."  It was on Alison's back for awhile, then it was placed on my butt for the rest of the night.  We went to Michelle's with a PS2 after the mall and just messed around.  Nicole and Alison played Silent Hill 2 and Fatal Frame.  Michelle went off to make chicken nuggets and when she came back, well she came back with more then chicken nuggets:  tater tots, crab cakes, and wierd egg roles.  Oh, I took that heart thing and put it on Nicole's ass while at michelle's.  Everyone played around with it for awhile.

Sunday was blah.  I woke up at 1, went online for along time, and was bored.  Nicole and I went to Starbucks around 7 and there was this strange guy that interrupted us.  We were sitting there talking and the guy stole the other comfy chair.  He looked all dirty and stuff.  We ran away.

Today, Monday, I worked at the library in the morning.  I had to follow around some old smelly man, Al.  He was cool, although I became nautious for the smell and I think I smell like him now.  While I was tending to the books, there was this homeless guy, Sal, who hangs out in the library.  He fell asleep near me and started snoring.  Then when he woke up, he was talking to himself.  I tried not to listen.  I don't want to know what people talk about when they talk to themselves.  I hope it wasn't something like, "Who's a sexy beast?  You're a sexy beast (in a more feminine voice)!"  Anyways, I have an Italian test tonight.  Oh joy...

Things are getting weird and I just got mad.  I just talked to someone who told me, "Don't tell <insert name here> I talked to you."  It appears that everyone is being forced to pick sides now.  Why the hell would you make people pick sides and then still want to hang out with me?  Well <insert name here>, Fuck it!  I'm sick of your childish games.

Posted at 04:02 pm by Loverman
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Between the joy of life and the release of death, lies an abyss of pain and hearts full of strain, crying for comfort and the warmth of someone’s arms, while pushing away the willing and not so giving and accepting the rejected ideas of society, labeled a delinquent from the shallow masses, exposed as a fraud while everyone surpasses, me, myself, and I addressing the public, to preach my chosen ideals and morals, through pen and paper and spoken word, in between each breath I’m battling my demons, deep within my soul, the center of my being, lies a cage, restraining all feeling inside, never venting anger and aggression, forcing myself into constant depression, an endless cycle of fake laughs and smiles, along with hidden cries and broken promises, to wait out my life until my death or forever dwell in my eternal hell

   
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